Reflections

So, in three short days, I shall turn 28 years old. I can't help but wonder where the last 28 years went. Do I feel that old? Yes, I do. But, I think for the first time in my life, I can truly appreciate what I've done, especially within the last few years. I went from a severely depressed person, still living in her mom's house truly hating life and my job, to having my own apartment, a job I really love, and a renewed sense of self. And, as soon as I get my tax return, I'll be debt free! I really feel that this last decade was the worst, and it's all up hill from here.

Although my life is far from what I consider perfect, I know I can make it everything I want it to be. Over the next five months I plan on getting my weight back down to where I think it should be. Just in the last year alone I went from 140lbs to 170lbs. For someone that is only 5'1", that's a lot. Two weeks ago I started a new workout regime, I'm changing the way I eat, and I took pictures of myself in a bikini to give me added inspiration. And, I think posting the details on here where anyone can read it will give me another extra push to not quit. I know I can do it.

I also plan on working very hard on finishing my novel. I've had the idea for the story for nine years, but I didn't start any actual writing until this last year. I feel that I've finally filled in all the plot holes and I have a story that will captivate readers. I won't divulge the plot on here tho, I don't want anyone stealing my ideas. But, I will keep you updated on how it's coming. I think if I can write several pages a day, I'll be done by the end of the year. Then, hopefully, I can get it published. Cross your fingers!

I've promised myself that I won't give up on any of my goals. I've done this a lot in the past, then blamed others for my failures, especially my family. This is the worst thing I could have done because they've been the ones who've always stood by me no matter what. I only hope that these last few years have brought some redemption from the bitch moves I used to pull. I love my family more than anything, and it's taken quite a few years for me to pull my head out of my ass and admit that I used to treat them like scum. My borderline personality disorder was to blame for some of it, but at the same time I had to take responsibility for my own actions and not let my disease control me. I've grown a lot, and I hope I'm proving that to them as well. I would be nothing without my family, they've helped me get this far, and I know they'll help me get farther. I love you guys!

I've got my plans and I've got my faith. Nothing is going to stop me from my goals. Nothing

Personal Opinion

Okay, so this one isn't about work. I just feel the need to write it. I was watching Gene Simmon's Family Jewels last night, and I couldn't believe how many people badger Gene on a daily basis to marry Shannon. I've been engaged three times, and now I no longer believe in marriage, at least, I don't believe in the whole "legal" process of it. The more I think about it, the more stupid the whole idea seems.

Once upon a time marriage was considered something sacred and beautiful. Now, it's a joke. Marriage doesn't guarantee anything anymore. A signed legal document doesn't guarantee your spouse will never leave you. It doesn't say they'll never cheat on you, have kids then abuse them and you, take all your money, murder you in your sleep, nothing. And, even if it did, it's not like it's a magical document that will actually prevent any of these things from happening.

As for wanting to share your life with someone, marriage is no longer needed for that. A couple living together without marrying is no longer the taboo that it once was. I've met couples that have been together for years without ever marrying, and they are far happier than any married couple I've known. I think part of that is that these people can wake up every morning and think, "I'm with the person next to me because I love them and I want to be with them." Married people can't say that. They get, "I'm with this person because I signed a legal document stating that I will share my life with them until I die, leave them, cheat on them, or get sick of them and go thru the lengthy, expensive, time consuming process of getting a divorce."

If your faith requires marriage as a stepping stone for whatever you believe the next life holds, then by all means, do it. It's my opinion that marriage (in the legal aspect) is been made useless, not yours. If I ever do get engaged again, I'll have a wedding, but not the marriage license. I don't need a piece of paper to define my love for another. I know you're asking, "then why have a wedding at all if you don't plan on making it legal?" The answer is that I would do that mainly for my family. I know they would want to celebrate my choice to spend my life with someone. Bringing governmental restrictions on my life is something I want to keep to a minimum tho.

Retail Holiday Stress

Mucho apologies for not writing in so long! I've actually got a moment to breathe in between working and chasing after my Christmas obsessed son, so I thought I'd write a little bit. The Saturday after Thanksgiving I bundled up Jeremy, and we went to Twin Falls with my friend Chelsea to do some early Xmas shopping. Well....she shopped, we just kind of tagged along. I was broko loco at that time, but it was fun to get out of Elko for a day and actually walk through other stores besides Walmart. There was some really, really cute clothes I found that I REALLY wanted to buy for myself, but I stuck to my guns and didn't. I'm glad now, since the money I would've used to pay for them ended being spent on Xmas gifts for others. Since my birthday's two weeks after Christmas, I can spoil myself then. Chelsea applauded my self control, lol. Anyway, towards the end of the day she wanted to stop in Barnes & Noble. I hesitated at first, then slunk through the front door feeling like a traitor to my own shop. But, I reasoned that as long as I didn't buy anything, I wasn't really a traitor. I actually got in a conversation with one of the employees, where I discovered something very interesting. It doesn't matter which bookstore you work in, we all have two things that really get on our nerves.

1. Parents that let their kids run loose as soon as they walk in the door.

and,

2. People who don't think before they ask for help.

I'm not trying to be mean, but it's true. There's many times where I'd have a customer walk up and say something like, "I'm looking for a book. I don't know the author or the title, but I know it's about kites. And the cover is blue. Can you tell me where it would be?" Then they get angry when I tell them I need more information to help them. Sometimes I feel like saying, "I'm sorry, but having ESP is not one of my job requirements." They also expect our little local bookstore to have the inventory of a huge chain shop. Don't get me wrong, we can order in anything the "big guys" have, we just don't have every book ever written in actual possession. And, since right now is the Christmas season, some people can be especially desperate to get that perfect gift for someone.

This time of year our boss has us doing book orders several times a week, just so we can get in the books our customers want in plenty of time for Christmas. And, for the most part, our customers are really awesome. Every year we put up a Christmas tree with stars of local kids in need. Customers can pick out a star, find a book for that kid, and the child receives a great present at school before winter vacation. This year, we had 160 stars, and only two weeks to get books purchased for all of them. We came up with the idea of finding books for a bunch of stars at a time and putting them in a basket by the registers. Then, when a customer was checking out, we'd ask if they'd like to purchase a book in the basket, thus negating the time it would take for the customer to select a book themselves. It worked! By the time the Elko Reading Council came to collect the books, every star had a book attached. I must admit though, having to lay on the sugar to every customer so they would purchase a book was not my favorite thing to do. I was so sickeningly sweet I was making myself nauseous. But, we helped a lot of kids, so it was all worth it.

Now we're down to the last week before Christmas, and shoppers are getting more of an edge. I have to remind myself several times a day it's my job to help these people to the best of my ability and keep a smile on my face the entire time. I think I might do the overly happy bookstore clerk bit this last week. That always manages to provide some entertainment for myself and my coworkers. Well, they'll probably want to hang me with my Santa hat, but oh well, it's all in good fun.

Everyone have a safe and wonderful holiday! Peace and Love!

Freedom!!!

Okay, I have to get this off my chest. I am so sick of people coming in the shop and asking why we carry books on "satanism"(harry potter is a big one with that), or why we carry Obama's autobiographies when he's "such a sleazeball". They don't seem to understand that as a bookstore, we can't just sell books that support our values, religion, or anything else. We have to be completely unbiased on the literature we sell. However, that doesn't stop customers for berating us on everything they see on the shelves that they don't like.

These complaints often come in interesting ways. During the elections we had a lot of people that would come in for the soul purpose of taking every pro-Obama book and magazine with his picture on it, and turning them around so all you saw was the back cover. Every once in a while we'd have someone threaten to boycott the shop if we didn't take those books off the shelves. Really! I know our President isn't well liked by the majority of the people right now, but that doesn't mean the shop can discriminate against him.

Our "adult room" also takes a lot of heat. We constantly have parents tell us how disgusted they are that we have that room. It's got a wooden door that's not see-thru, so it's not like kids can just peek inside. Really religious people have no problem telling me I'm "going straight to hell" for selling "such filth". I don't judge the customers that do utilize that part of our store. It's their choice to look at that stuff, and as long as they aren't involving children or being abusive with it, then who cares? Is some guy watching porn in the privacy of his own home going to affect your life? (Just throwing this in here) It's like gay marriage. How is a married gay couple in California going to affect a hetero married couple in Iowa? The controversy makes no sense to me.

We are so lucky to live in this country, a country so awesome and full of possibilities that people regularly put themselves and their loved ones in danger of being arrested by coming here illegally! And yet there's so many out there that believe that everyone should think, act, and believe in one uniformed set of rules. That's such a dictatorship! I'm proud to work in a shop that doesn't discriminate against any type of literature. I'll sell "Conversations with God" to someone the same day I sell "Witchcraft for Dummies" to someone else, and think nothing of it. The freedom to pursue knowledge means any type of knowledge!

Don't let anyone tell you the books you read are bad! It's your fundamental right as an American to read whatever you feel like reading!

All Shapes and Sizes

Here at the lovely bookshop I call work(sometimes home, depends on how many hours I'm there that week), we cater to all kinds of people. Animals too! Yes, our shop is pet friendly, mostly because my boss raises wiener dogs(the real name I can't spell), and since they're a frequent visitor to the shop, she saw no reason to discriminate against any other four-legged friends.

I've seen just about every type of canine you can think of come in. Wiener dogs are the ones we see the most, again, thanks to my boss. Her two little dogs have had two litters in the past year, one was planned, the other not. Both times she would have to bring in the pups and mother for a few days after birth to keep an eye on them. So cute! You can't imagine how hard it is to concentrate on work when there's these adorable chocolate colored puppies so close by! I would've bought one, however my apartment building doesn't allow pets(i have a cat tho, shh!), and a dog just wouldn't be comfortable in my tiny home. Having to watch these puppies grow up then be sold to other people was torture!!

However, a lot of them were adopted by frequent customers, and so they make many reappearances to the shop. I always get that little baby voice whenever I see them too. You know, the one that starts out going, "Oh! What a precious lil baby! Oh, you're just so cute!". It just gets worse from there. And, I don't just do that to the boss's dog's offspring either, all dogs are subjected to it.

About two days ago we had a Great Dane come into the shop. Most travelers or infrequent locals don't know we allow dogs in the store, so they leave them outside. On this day a family of four came into the shop, with one child outside to hold the dog. After five minutes or so, another family member would go outside and trade places, so the other person could come inside and look around. This happened about three times before we noticed, and when my boss saw this, she told them to bring the dog in. That dog was almost as tall as I am! And it was incredibly light on it's feet, I could barely hear it walking thru the store. When any of the wiener dogs come in, they make so much noise it sounds like a pack of stampeding buffalo. Not this dog tho, he was as agile as a ballet dancer.

If I could have a dog, I'd pick a Red Heeler. That was the dog we had growing up, and I loved her so much, she was the perfect guard dog. Even tho I love the wiener dogs, they just aren't great protectors. If a thief broke in, what would a wiener dog do, nip his ankles till he left? That would be funny to see, but not very practical.

Most people assume I'm strictly a cat person, but I love all animals, even the ones that terrify me. I refuse to kill spiders. That drives my boss crazy, especially when I saw a black widow nesting on the outside of one of our windows, and I insisted on trapping it and setting it loose by the sagebrush. Just call me the walking contradiction I guess.

Random bookshop adventures

So, here it is Thursday, but it's also my Sunday. I love my work schedule, but I have yet to remember to spread out my to-do list to cover both my day's off. On the second day I'm usually left with nothing to do but sit on my butt or run sprints down my block. Or drive out to my mom's house and take over her computer and/or TV. Anyway, this morning while in a brief coma on my couch I came up with the brilliant notion of writing a blog with a mini antidote of just some of the craziness that is my job.

I love the bookshop I work in, mostly because we sell both new and used books, and when people bring in used books, the workers get first dibs. My book collection has increased at least twice since I've started working there. My patience has also increased, since I can't exactly predict when a book I want is going to come in. I've also gotten some really good reads that I've never even known existed. That's how I got hooked on the Morganville Vampire series, which I'm sorry to say is better than the Twilight books. I loved those too, don't send hate mail!

Anyway, on an average day, we can expect to receive 200 or more used books, and we usually sell that many, sometimes more or less. And occasionally our customers don't really pay attention when they pack up their books to bring in, much to my amusement. This has led to quite a few surprises in their book bags. I've found, among other things, dead bugs, photographs, money(which i returned to the owner), used plane tickets, once I even found a tiny black lace thong. That one was kind of disgusting since the person who brought in that bag was an old lady. But one customer has topped them all.

It was a boring Saturday, when two guys came in the front door. The older one said his wife had sent him to turn in a bunch of boxes of books. Since this was pretty much normal, I said Sure! bring in the boxes and we'll count them up. We give 1/4 of the book price in credit for used books people bring in. That credit is only good for any of our other used books, like a trade. Just had to include that in case you were wondering. Back to the story: So after getting the okay from my coworker and I, these two guys proceed to bring in boxes, all labeled "books" on the outside. They end up bringing in about twenty boxes, and while this in itself isn't unusual, the fact that they were all liquor boxes made us giggle. And these were not little boxes either. Hee hee

After they brought in all the boxes we told them it will take several days to count up all the books and did they want us to call them when we were done so they knew what their credit was. The older guy said the following:(this is not verbatim, this is just what i recall) "Sure give us a call. Oh, and by the way, if you find anything valuable in any of those boxes just set them aside and we'll come back and pick them up." And with that, they left. My coworker, "Jenny" and I each pick a box and open them to start counting. I heard a gasp of surprise from Jenny, but I was too busy being freaked out myself to look over at her. Inside both our boxes, was socks, knick knacks, sheets, and a few books. We started ripping open all the other boxes to only find the same things! There was maybe five or six paperbacks in each box, but the bulk was filled with the everyday things of someone's house!

We went through about six of these boxes, taking the miscellaneous stuff and putting it inside trash bags, and counting up the few books we found inside. After doing this, we looked at each other and I said, "You know, I really don't want to run the risk of contracting some disease or finding underwear." Jenny agreed and we stacked the remaining boxes and trash bags of stuff in the back. When we came in on Monday, we explained the situation to our boss, "Emily". She called the people who brought in the boxes and told the woman who answered that they needed to come get their boxes back, go through them and pull out the books, then bring back just the books. Turns out the woman had no idea her husband and son had brought the boxes in, she had told them to go through them first and bring us only the books. We could hear her screaming at them while she was still on the phone with my boss!

They came and got the boxes, I unfortunately wasn't there to see it, but Emily told me the woman was pissed beyond all reasoning at the guys. I guess they were getting ready to move, but the guys weren't really into helping with the sorting stuff out and packing it all up. They thought that since all the boxes were labeled "books", that's all that was in there, not stopping to actually look inside any of them. Oh, and in case you were curious, the reason they were all liquor boxes was because they got them from a bar to save money instead of buying new boxes. It probably won't be the last time something like this happens, but it'll probably end up being one of the weirdest.

The Insanity That is My Life

Okay, so this doesn't have anything to do with my job, but I must write about it or involuntarily go insane from having the scenario repeat in my brain.

So, last Sunday I was at my mom's house. She has been recovering from surgery and has been confined to her couch for the last two weeks, so I spent that Sunday keeping her company. Mostly we were watching numerous television programs that include, but are not limited to: Law & Order, Spongebob(my son made us watch this), and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

With night rapidly closing in on us, I decided to call it a night and get my son home to bed. We said our goodnight's to my mom and older brother, who was there playing on his computer(he leaves it there so my mom has Internet access), and headed out to my car. Let me pause in my tale here to admit that I have a crush on my car. I didn't expect to, I didn't want an "SUV" when I was shopping for a new vehicle. But, my brother convinced me to test drive a '96 Toyota 4-Runner, and I fell head over heels. I love my car!

Anyways....so my son and I get out to my car, nicknamed The Beast, partially due to my obsession with werewolves. I start the car as per usual and proceed to back out of my mom's driveway. I went barely 5 feet when I heard a huge KER-CHUNK! and my car proceeded to lower itself on the passenger side. My first thought was, "Shit! Either I just ran over one of my mom's dogs, or the tire just exploded." I got out and went to inspect the damage. I find the wheel well of my front passenger tire touching said tire.

I then yelled for my brother, who comes out and promptly sends me back for a flashlight, because the headlights on the car were not supplying the adequate light to see. I returned with the light shortly, and after a brief inspection, my brother announces that the ball joint has broken off. I burst into tears. My brother, trying to be consoling says, "Hey, be grateful! If this had happened while you were driving, you'd be dead right now!" Needless to say, this statement has produced multiple nightmares since that night.

My mother lends me the use of her truck for the week, as none of us have any money for repairs until the following Friday. So, this last week I've felt like a midget(I'm 5'1") driving my mom's giant truck around, but I am so grateful she let me. I think her exact words when handing over the keys were, "I'm stuck home, so just drive the damn thing!" I love how my mom words things.

Friday eventually arrives and I get a call from my mom saying my car is all fixed and I can pick it up the next day(today). Then, after receiving the best news I've heard all week, she tells me the following, "Your brother says the other ball joint is worn too, but we have to wait till next payday(2 weeks away) to get that fixed. Just drive real slow and everything should be fine."

Well, couple this with what my brother had said the night the disaster happened, and I could not sleep at all! I was scared to death to drive my car, afraid I'd be going down the road at 60mph and have the other ball joint drop, sending me to my untimely death.

Yes, I did get my car back, and yes, I am driving it. My fear of it killing me is still there, however my body will not let me resort to driving "real slow". I compared the old ball joint with the new one when I picked up my car, and I'm satisfied it will last for two more weeks. Let's hope my assumptions prove correct. If not, I'm haunting my brother, because he's the one that instilled that fear in my brain in the first place. Mwahahaha!

Hello World!

Okay, both my sisters have had blogs on here for a considerable amount of time, and they say they love it. I have always thought that I would be unable to maintain a blog, given my inability to concentrate on anything more than five minutes, and the fact that I do not own a home computer. Pause for reaction.....

Anyway, after a particularly boring day at work, I realized that I would not have to update my blog on a daily basis, and could do so at several different locations until I was able to have a computer to call my very own. Sometimes the great ideas are very slow arriving, or I'm just a bit of an idiot.

So, to start of this new venture, let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am a 27 years old single mom of the most perfect(albeit slightly nutty) son on earth. And, if you haven't already guessed by the title of my blog, I work in a bookstore, mainly in the teeny coffee shop located within said bookstore.

I titled my blog as such because you would be amazed at the stuff that goes on in a little local bookstore. Customers try to get away with the craziest things, and all of us who work here are pretty much insane, including my boss. I shall omit all real names to avoid any hurt feelings or embarrassment, unless the person gives me permission to do so.

Welcome to my world!