Catch Up

Okay, first of all, let me apologize for not writing for awhile. I have been able to get online since my last post, I've just been lazy about it. But, that's okay, cause blogs move with the speed of whomever is writing them.

It's been a busy two weeks. I was switching up all the workout dvd's every day for about a week, then I decided just to concentrate on Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred in hopes of completing all three levels of workouts. I've been doing it for six days now(counting today), and I'm still on level 1. I can do the whole workout without stopping though, and I'm confident I'll be on level 2 by Wednesday. I also have a mini elliptical machine that I've been using on a daily basis, doing 500 steps or 18 minutes every day. I really wish I could get on it in the morning, but the pumps on the bottom start squeaking after 200 steps, and I'm worried about annoying my neighbors. The walls are so thin!

Oh, and speaking of my neighbors, this story must be told. On Friday morning I woke up and went to my living room window to look out and see how much snow had fallen. I look out, and I see that my new upstairs neighbor has driven his car UP onto the lawn and parked right in front of our building!



And you can totally tell he did this before the snow fell! I felt vicious, so I called the landlord and left a message about it. Turns out, though, that I didn't need to. About an hour later when I was outside cleaning off my car, I see the maintenance man pull up to clean the sidewalks. He saw the car, jerked to a stop in the middle of the lot, and just stared at it, lol! Fifteen minutes later when Jeremy and I were leaving, he came up from where he was shoveling and asked if I knew who's car it was. I said no, cause honestly I just don't converse with any of my neighbors, and he said okay and let me walk on. When I came home for lunch I notice the car back in it's proper place. I still wonder if he got in trouble at all....

Anyway, I digress.

So, I've been doing the Jillian Michael's dvd, and I'm hoping to be down at least five pounds by the time I go to Utah to visit my dad, step-mom, and sisters. I'm pretty sure I can do it, I took my measurements yesterday and I'm down an inch on my waist and a half inch on my hips. I also noticed I don't have a double chin when I open my mouth wide anymore. If I make my goal, I'll celebrate by posting an updated photo of me on here. The one I've got up right now is about four years old, lol.

Till then, merry meet to all and talk to you later!

First Week Update

Okay, bad news first. I have not written in my novel at all. I know, I know, I'm disappointed with myself too. I think though that part of my problem is that I've been focusing so hard on my diet and exercise that I haven't taken the time to sit down and focus on something else. I promise to do better next week!

As for my other goal, I'm well on the way to achieving that. Over Xmas my awesome sister Claire gave me three workout dvds, Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, The Biggest Loser Boot Camp, and The Biggest Loser Cardio Mix. Before that I had three others to choose from; Bellydancing, Crunch's Bikini Body, and Cardio Dance Mix. I would do one of those three a couple times a week, each time was about 30 minutes long. Needless to say, I wasn't getting a very good workout. Now I have six different dvd's I can cycle through. My plan has been to do a different one every day so I don't get bored, and on the 7th day either pick one at random or take that day off.

So far I've managed to do one every day for the past week. I really like the boot camp one, it really gives my endurance a challenge. With that one and the Jillian Michael's one I often find myself cursing the instructors by the end, lol. It's hard work! But, I'm not giving up. It feels really good to test my limits. Also, my Aunt Lisa bought a Wii, and got the Wii Fit Plus games. Today was the second day I've been on it and it's so much fun! You don't even realize you're working out until you notice you're sweating. The boxing and hula hoops in the aerobics part are my favorites. I also like the yoga part. It says I have near perfect balance, so I'm working on not shifting my weight so much when I'm standing behind the counter at work.

Speaking of work, I've taken my workouts there as well. In between customers, I do lunges by the magazine racks, and I'll do chest presses on the counter. If I feel really daring I'll drop and do a quick set of pushups as well. I haven't been caught by a customer yet, but I know I will eventually. And yes, I've told my boss and coworkers what I'm doing. They think it's funny, so it's all good.

I weighed myself this morning, and I'm down a pound and a half. However, when I went onto the Wii, it said I was up almost a pound. I think I'll trust my scale, lol.

I'm still having a hard time with my diet, with my work schedule and kid, it's been hard to adjust to not eating fast food all the time. I bought frozen skinless chicken breasts, and I'm measuring portions. I'm also snacking on almonds and small servings of veggie chips. For the first week, I think I'm doing pretty good!

Thank you so much for the wonderful support! I promise to get going on my novel, and I'll keep it up with the workouts. "If you can dream it, you can achieve it"!

Reflections

So, in three short days, I shall turn 28 years old. I can't help but wonder where the last 28 years went. Do I feel that old? Yes, I do. But, I think for the first time in my life, I can truly appreciate what I've done, especially within the last few years. I went from a severely depressed person, still living in her mom's house truly hating life and my job, to having my own apartment, a job I really love, and a renewed sense of self. And, as soon as I get my tax return, I'll be debt free! I really feel that this last decade was the worst, and it's all up hill from here.

Although my life is far from what I consider perfect, I know I can make it everything I want it to be. Over the next five months I plan on getting my weight back down to where I think it should be. Just in the last year alone I went from 140lbs to 170lbs. For someone that is only 5'1", that's a lot. Two weeks ago I started a new workout regime, I'm changing the way I eat, and I took pictures of myself in a bikini to give me added inspiration. And, I think posting the details on here where anyone can read it will give me another extra push to not quit. I know I can do it.

I also plan on working very hard on finishing my novel. I've had the idea for the story for nine years, but I didn't start any actual writing until this last year. I feel that I've finally filled in all the plot holes and I have a story that will captivate readers. I won't divulge the plot on here tho, I don't want anyone stealing my ideas. But, I will keep you updated on how it's coming. I think if I can write several pages a day, I'll be done by the end of the year. Then, hopefully, I can get it published. Cross your fingers!

I've promised myself that I won't give up on any of my goals. I've done this a lot in the past, then blamed others for my failures, especially my family. This is the worst thing I could have done because they've been the ones who've always stood by me no matter what. I only hope that these last few years have brought some redemption from the bitch moves I used to pull. I love my family more than anything, and it's taken quite a few years for me to pull my head out of my ass and admit that I used to treat them like scum. My borderline personality disorder was to blame for some of it, but at the same time I had to take responsibility for my own actions and not let my disease control me. I've grown a lot, and I hope I'm proving that to them as well. I would be nothing without my family, they've helped me get this far, and I know they'll help me get farther. I love you guys!

I've got my plans and I've got my faith. Nothing is going to stop me from my goals. Nothing

Personal Opinion

Okay, so this one isn't about work. I just feel the need to write it. I was watching Gene Simmon's Family Jewels last night, and I couldn't believe how many people badger Gene on a daily basis to marry Shannon. I've been engaged three times, and now I no longer believe in marriage, at least, I don't believe in the whole "legal" process of it. The more I think about it, the more stupid the whole idea seems.

Once upon a time marriage was considered something sacred and beautiful. Now, it's a joke. Marriage doesn't guarantee anything anymore. A signed legal document doesn't guarantee your spouse will never leave you. It doesn't say they'll never cheat on you, have kids then abuse them and you, take all your money, murder you in your sleep, nothing. And, even if it did, it's not like it's a magical document that will actually prevent any of these things from happening.

As for wanting to share your life with someone, marriage is no longer needed for that. A couple living together without marrying is no longer the taboo that it once was. I've met couples that have been together for years without ever marrying, and they are far happier than any married couple I've known. I think part of that is that these people can wake up every morning and think, "I'm with the person next to me because I love them and I want to be with them." Married people can't say that. They get, "I'm with this person because I signed a legal document stating that I will share my life with them until I die, leave them, cheat on them, or get sick of them and go thru the lengthy, expensive, time consuming process of getting a divorce."

If your faith requires marriage as a stepping stone for whatever you believe the next life holds, then by all means, do it. It's my opinion that marriage (in the legal aspect) is been made useless, not yours. If I ever do get engaged again, I'll have a wedding, but not the marriage license. I don't need a piece of paper to define my love for another. I know you're asking, "then why have a wedding at all if you don't plan on making it legal?" The answer is that I would do that mainly for my family. I know they would want to celebrate my choice to spend my life with someone. Bringing governmental restrictions on my life is something I want to keep to a minimum tho.

Retail Holiday Stress

Mucho apologies for not writing in so long! I've actually got a moment to breathe in between working and chasing after my Christmas obsessed son, so I thought I'd write a little bit. The Saturday after Thanksgiving I bundled up Jeremy, and we went to Twin Falls with my friend Chelsea to do some early Xmas shopping. Well....she shopped, we just kind of tagged along. I was broko loco at that time, but it was fun to get out of Elko for a day and actually walk through other stores besides Walmart. There was some really, really cute clothes I found that I REALLY wanted to buy for myself, but I stuck to my guns and didn't. I'm glad now, since the money I would've used to pay for them ended being spent on Xmas gifts for others. Since my birthday's two weeks after Christmas, I can spoil myself then. Chelsea applauded my self control, lol. Anyway, towards the end of the day she wanted to stop in Barnes & Noble. I hesitated at first, then slunk through the front door feeling like a traitor to my own shop. But, I reasoned that as long as I didn't buy anything, I wasn't really a traitor. I actually got in a conversation with one of the employees, where I discovered something very interesting. It doesn't matter which bookstore you work in, we all have two things that really get on our nerves.

1. Parents that let their kids run loose as soon as they walk in the door.

and,

2. People who don't think before they ask for help.

I'm not trying to be mean, but it's true. There's many times where I'd have a customer walk up and say something like, "I'm looking for a book. I don't know the author or the title, but I know it's about kites. And the cover is blue. Can you tell me where it would be?" Then they get angry when I tell them I need more information to help them. Sometimes I feel like saying, "I'm sorry, but having ESP is not one of my job requirements." They also expect our little local bookstore to have the inventory of a huge chain shop. Don't get me wrong, we can order in anything the "big guys" have, we just don't have every book ever written in actual possession. And, since right now is the Christmas season, some people can be especially desperate to get that perfect gift for someone.

This time of year our boss has us doing book orders several times a week, just so we can get in the books our customers want in plenty of time for Christmas. And, for the most part, our customers are really awesome. Every year we put up a Christmas tree with stars of local kids in need. Customers can pick out a star, find a book for that kid, and the child receives a great present at school before winter vacation. This year, we had 160 stars, and only two weeks to get books purchased for all of them. We came up with the idea of finding books for a bunch of stars at a time and putting them in a basket by the registers. Then, when a customer was checking out, we'd ask if they'd like to purchase a book in the basket, thus negating the time it would take for the customer to select a book themselves. It worked! By the time the Elko Reading Council came to collect the books, every star had a book attached. I must admit though, having to lay on the sugar to every customer so they would purchase a book was not my favorite thing to do. I was so sickeningly sweet I was making myself nauseous. But, we helped a lot of kids, so it was all worth it.

Now we're down to the last week before Christmas, and shoppers are getting more of an edge. I have to remind myself several times a day it's my job to help these people to the best of my ability and keep a smile on my face the entire time. I think I might do the overly happy bookstore clerk bit this last week. That always manages to provide some entertainment for myself and my coworkers. Well, they'll probably want to hang me with my Santa hat, but oh well, it's all in good fun.

Everyone have a safe and wonderful holiday! Peace and Love!

Freedom!!!

Okay, I have to get this off my chest. I am so sick of people coming in the shop and asking why we carry books on "satanism"(harry potter is a big one with that), or why we carry Obama's autobiographies when he's "such a sleazeball". They don't seem to understand that as a bookstore, we can't just sell books that support our values, religion, or anything else. We have to be completely unbiased on the literature we sell. However, that doesn't stop customers for berating us on everything they see on the shelves that they don't like.

These complaints often come in interesting ways. During the elections we had a lot of people that would come in for the soul purpose of taking every pro-Obama book and magazine with his picture on it, and turning them around so all you saw was the back cover. Every once in a while we'd have someone threaten to boycott the shop if we didn't take those books off the shelves. Really! I know our President isn't well liked by the majority of the people right now, but that doesn't mean the shop can discriminate against him.

Our "adult room" also takes a lot of heat. We constantly have parents tell us how disgusted they are that we have that room. It's got a wooden door that's not see-thru, so it's not like kids can just peek inside. Really religious people have no problem telling me I'm "going straight to hell" for selling "such filth". I don't judge the customers that do utilize that part of our store. It's their choice to look at that stuff, and as long as they aren't involving children or being abusive with it, then who cares? Is some guy watching porn in the privacy of his own home going to affect your life? (Just throwing this in here) It's like gay marriage. How is a married gay couple in California going to affect a hetero married couple in Iowa? The controversy makes no sense to me.

We are so lucky to live in this country, a country so awesome and full of possibilities that people regularly put themselves and their loved ones in danger of being arrested by coming here illegally! And yet there's so many out there that believe that everyone should think, act, and believe in one uniformed set of rules. That's such a dictatorship! I'm proud to work in a shop that doesn't discriminate against any type of literature. I'll sell "Conversations with God" to someone the same day I sell "Witchcraft for Dummies" to someone else, and think nothing of it. The freedom to pursue knowledge means any type of knowledge!

Don't let anyone tell you the books you read are bad! It's your fundamental right as an American to read whatever you feel like reading!

All Shapes and Sizes

Here at the lovely bookshop I call work(sometimes home, depends on how many hours I'm there that week), we cater to all kinds of people. Animals too! Yes, our shop is pet friendly, mostly because my boss raises wiener dogs(the real name I can't spell), and since they're a frequent visitor to the shop, she saw no reason to discriminate against any other four-legged friends.

I've seen just about every type of canine you can think of come in. Wiener dogs are the ones we see the most, again, thanks to my boss. Her two little dogs have had two litters in the past year, one was planned, the other not. Both times she would have to bring in the pups and mother for a few days after birth to keep an eye on them. So cute! You can't imagine how hard it is to concentrate on work when there's these adorable chocolate colored puppies so close by! I would've bought one, however my apartment building doesn't allow pets(i have a cat tho, shh!), and a dog just wouldn't be comfortable in my tiny home. Having to watch these puppies grow up then be sold to other people was torture!!

However, a lot of them were adopted by frequent customers, and so they make many reappearances to the shop. I always get that little baby voice whenever I see them too. You know, the one that starts out going, "Oh! What a precious lil baby! Oh, you're just so cute!". It just gets worse from there. And, I don't just do that to the boss's dog's offspring either, all dogs are subjected to it.

About two days ago we had a Great Dane come into the shop. Most travelers or infrequent locals don't know we allow dogs in the store, so they leave them outside. On this day a family of four came into the shop, with one child outside to hold the dog. After five minutes or so, another family member would go outside and trade places, so the other person could come inside and look around. This happened about three times before we noticed, and when my boss saw this, she told them to bring the dog in. That dog was almost as tall as I am! And it was incredibly light on it's feet, I could barely hear it walking thru the store. When any of the wiener dogs come in, they make so much noise it sounds like a pack of stampeding buffalo. Not this dog tho, he was as agile as a ballet dancer.

If I could have a dog, I'd pick a Red Heeler. That was the dog we had growing up, and I loved her so much, she was the perfect guard dog. Even tho I love the wiener dogs, they just aren't great protectors. If a thief broke in, what would a wiener dog do, nip his ankles till he left? That would be funny to see, but not very practical.

Most people assume I'm strictly a cat person, but I love all animals, even the ones that terrify me. I refuse to kill spiders. That drives my boss crazy, especially when I saw a black widow nesting on the outside of one of our windows, and I insisted on trapping it and setting it loose by the sagebrush. Just call me the walking contradiction I guess.